Psycho-linguistic analysis of writing samples from this blog, compared with several dry cleaning receipts and one grocery bill recovered from the abandoned wreck of one the Adjuster's time machines indicates that the mysterious figure known as The Banker on the hit TV show "Deal or No Deal" may actually be the Endtime Adjuster.
Could this be our man?
What's worse, the scoundrel is up to his old tricks. Fakie intelligence has been able to gather, through a complex series of wiretaps and satellite signal shunts, that the Adjuster may be conspiring with host of "Deal or No Deal", Howie Mandel, to attempt to buy the souls of the show's contestants.
While appearing to communicate with Howie via cell phone to offer amounts of money to buy back the contestant's attache case, it appears that the Adjuster/Banker could actually be coaching Howie on just how much pressure to apply to get the contestant to buy an Endtime Insurance Package.
Here is an excerpt of one such intercepted communication:
Adjuster: I think this one (contestant) is ready to cave. Next commercial break, push the Endtime Nuclear Jump Suit and the Soul Non-Reclamation Clause.
Howie: I have no idea what you're talking about, but this is the best gig I've had in years, so Ok. 
Howie may or may not be involved.
If our suspicions are correct, the Adjuster might make the bold move of trying to lure one of the Fakie Agents onto the show. We're activating an Anti-Rapture sleeper cell to infiltrate the studio audience and see if they can gain more information regarding the Adjuster's possible future moves. In the mean time, we're sifting through re-runs of the program to decode any hidden transmission that might have been made to other subversive elements such as the elusive Xister, Maskatron or Spirella.
10 comments:
Plant a fake audience. Cardboard cut-outs.
If he tries to steal their souls we'll spring into action! His monster-truck-like arch enemy will be waiting.
i love this stupid show!!!!
no deal howie!!
I think the T.V. station has got a fakie-agent. When you go to "the blog" and try to play the game, which probably tried to sell endtime insurance, you are sent back to the station home page. The game has been disabled. GOOD WORK - FAKIE AGENTS!
We have so many Agents scattered about the globe that it's hard to keep track of all their movements and operations. That was actually Kil-Joy's job, but we've lost track of him too. But when something good happens somewhere, like the disabling of a suspicious blog, you can be sure we were behind it.
MGC--I used to like that show as well, until I learned the awful truth!
Hippo--You'll be at "The Rally" right?
The sudden re-emergence of the Adjuster must be related to the King's strange dreams.
Yah I'll be at the rally.
eating a hot dog.
He's walking on a pit of fire, you realize that. The letter "Z" will not go for long without his velvety brain, I heard. Sans the robots, quite contrary.
I like the girls on that show.
Indeed, there are hot babes a-plenty; another sign that the Adjuster has a hand in the operation.
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