Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Shark Jumping

Until Dr. Flavour filled me in on the nomenclature, I didn't even know what the term "jumping the shark" meant. It refers to the episode of Happy Days in which the Fonz tries to jump a shark tank on water skis. Fans generally agree that it was at this point that the series started to suck, and sometime after that "jumping the shark" came to refer to the turning point at which a once good television show starts to bite the big one. There is now even a website devoted to the phenomenon, where fans can vote on the episode at which their favourite show took the plunge.


Judging from the website, jumping the shark seems to be an inevitable process (though The Simpsons might still be in the running for becoming the one exception to the rule). But it's not just television shows--rock bands, movie franchises, politicians, whole cultural movements have their rise, zenith and decline. Not even slacker skateblogs could be said to be immune to the nefarious calculus of the Shark Jump Effect, and I predict that Fakiegrind too will eventually go the way of all pop cultural product, and start to suck (whaddaya mean "start" -sharky).

The slippage will likely begin gradually. We'll start repeating old jokes (have you heard the one about the rogue editor? -ed), revisiting old concepts (until the Dairy Farmers of Canada come home), and the Star Wars files will be pursued to infinity and back (once Dr. Flavour clarifies the nature of infinity for us). The Endtime Adjuster will show up again-- this time with some real manure for the fields--and any contributers or commentators we might have left will flee like record corp. executives from anything that hasn't been heard a thousand times before.

This process is bound to happen, may have already started. Fakiegrind, in a desperate scramble to stave off the forces of entropy and sharkjumpdom, will launch a barrage of outlandish, content-less innovations coupled with nostalgic retrospectives in which the accomplishments of the past will be used to blind readers to the insipid vacuity of present offerings.

Well, if it's a natural process...then bring it on! In order to remind faithful readers of the particular brand of Wilt Disney magic that is/was Fakiegrind, and to bamboozle newer readers into believing that the emperor did, at one point, actually have some sort of clothing, here is a list of links to what might be some of the finest Fakiegrind moments:

The Plight of the "Just Old"

Star Wars Obsession

Insipid Enlightenment

The Good Doctor

Fakie Fiction and Essay

Scientific Investigation

Long Live the Fakie Pope!

Metaphysical Speculation

Religious Mania


There are plenty of other great Fakiegrind moments over which to reminisce, like Kill-Joy's Fakiegrind T-shirt campaign (now, sadly, lost to the archives), and Em's drunken reflections on extra-terrestrial life, the all-too-numerous Fakie Rants of the Week, and the barely tolerated and far too extensive Star Wars Files. Serious Fakiescholars can roam the archives at will in search of any pearls, baubles and dollar store trophies in amongst the considerable mud. We'll keep posting until the CRTC shuts us down, or I find something better to do with my evenings.

Stay tuned for front line reportage of Fakiegrind Agents attempting to ollie over a kiddie pool full or ravenous prianas! Until then, keep it rolling, fakie and old et.al.

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