Monday, August 07, 2006

Ninja Art

Now that we're over the hump of the 666th post, souls and civilization (more or less) intact, I've had time to work on other things, such as a construction for the upcoming "Goddamn Ninjas" art show opening here in Steeltown next week-end. Here is my entry entitled, "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Ninja"


Ninjas from three continents will be converging for this much anticipated event. The city has decided to evacuate the downtown core Friday night so as not to incur any civilian casualties in the Royal Rumble event, which will be transmitted via satellite on the Fakiegrind pay-per-view channel. Be sure to tune at 9 pm, Standard Ninja Time for what promises to be the black gi event of the century!


Bathroom Hippo said...

Oh I'll be there my the audience!

I'll be the one throwing other audience members.

Andrew said...

...a very lovely piece, flatlander!

Gyrobo said...


They get together like this every year, and it just gets better with time.

Roboshrub Incorporated said...

Killacon is in STEELTOWN this year? JOY!

jin said...

Fakiegrind pay-per-view?!!?


(Psssst! Hey, does anyone know how to hack it?)

flatlander said...

Fakiegrind pay-per-view is a rewards program based on the number of comments an individual has placed on Fakiegrind.

According to our statistics, you, Jin, being one of Fakiegrinds top 3 commentatorys, are eligible for aproximately two weeks worth of free programming.

Prepare to enjoy such classic transmissions as The Adjuster's Endtime Cooking Show, the smash hit sitcom Four Slackers and One Robot, or the nature program RockSteady's Graceful Gardening.

Of course, all of these shows are currently in the pre-production stage, but keep your eyes peeled early next year for trailers and pilots. Be on the look-out, as well, for the upcoming Fakiegrind pod-cast, The Skateboard Revival Hour, in which a bunch of decrepit old has-beens sit around and talk about the eighties for two hours.

Stay old!

whoami123 said...


We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.
As soon as we acknowledge
this Supreme Designer/Architect,
Who has erected the beauteous
fabric of the universe, our minds
must necessarily be ravished with
wonder at this infinate goodness,
wisdom and power.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Whoami

P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."

Bathroom Hippo said...


that wasn't me

flatlander said...

The common culture of everyone's youth remains preserved, intact and healthy, in the Sixth Dimensional Archive of Pleasant Distractions, there to stay until theEnd of Time, when we will all be re-united with the long-lost action figures, Styx 45s, security blankets and little clumps of mud shaped like Babba Pappa.

I hear it's like Pee-Wee's playhouse multiplied to infinity and folded into a life-size origami model of the Space Shuttle.

jin said...

So, I'm officially 'one of Fakiegrinds top 3 commentatorys'?!!?

I'm soooo addicted! Maybe you should start a:
She's out of her Mind
Anonymous Addiction Program"
(That doesn't send spam)

flatlander said...

"Commentatory" was a typo--that's actually the name of the place they send people who come down with commentatoritis--the compulsive need to comment.

But that's also what keeps Fakiegrind going!