Thursday, September 22, 2005

Salmon Derby

The factory I'm working in was built by Free Masons, and they seem to have aligned the building according to the ancient formulas. So, in the morning, at a certain hour, the sun shines through the bay door beside my saw, all but blinding me. Should I remain employed at my current post for the better part of a year--until the next summer solstice--I've been told that the sun will shine directly upon an otherwise conealed section of the drop ceiling, thus illuminating a spectacular fresco of dancing beavers enacting ancient Masonic rites.

I pray to Heaven that I won't be working there long enough to witness this marvel, but in the mean time, I have a more practical problem in that the blinding morning sun greatly increases the chances of my damadging an appendage in a grisly circular saw mishap.

To help prevent this, I have taken to wearing a fishing cap I found abandoned in a dusty corner of the shop:

Example

I've never been to Whitby or Oshawa, and I have no idea what a Salmon Derby is. Once the sun has moved out of my direct line of vision, I place the hat on the work table beside my saw, and steal glances at it once in a while. I like to pass the seemingly endless hours fantasizing about playfull salmon riding jetskiis across Lake Ontario. Then, I imagine myself dressed in a large salmon costume, swimming upstream to spawn. Indeed, the Salmon should be spawing any day now, and I would rather be a pair of rosey gills, fighting, fighting, fighting the current to find my sweetheart in the lovely upstream spawing beds.

Alas, friends, perhaps in the next life. 'Till then, I think I'm going to hold on to this hat as a keepsake.

6 comments:

Michael said...

That right there is a nice hate.

flatlander said...

I'll mail it to you if you like (I think I still owe you a summer--make that fall, music review).

I like your new heatshot. With the low resolution, you kind of look like Kevin Spacey.

Michael said...

Kevin Spacey. Hmm...
I did like the movie K-Pax.

Funny you bring up the music review. I was thinking about that a couple of days ago. I thought to myself, "I think I gave my address to flatlander for him to send me something, but I dont recall getting anything. Must of been a dream or something."

flatlander said...

K-pax was a neat film, but American Beauty was a bust.

About the rumours of mail; it was, indeed a dream--I sometimes use dream-messanger to communicate with Fakiegrind affiliates--but it was a dream I intended to follow up on.

Now that the Fakie expense budget for postage and supplies has some numbers behind it, I will be able to make the dream real!

mgc said...

i love dancing beavers! i would stay just to witness such an event.

i think postage should be prepaid by the recipient of the prized music, so the dreams can be fullfilled.

as for american beauty - the rose pedals where lovely and so abundant.

Best boy said...

Those rose petals were made from cheeze.