Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Endtime Blues

Example

With considerable difficulty, and no small risk to the Fakiegrind agents involved, we have managed to recover the Metallica, ...And Justice for All tape from the Adjuster's mountaintop survival bunker...Ok, more accurately, the cassette was mailed to us, already opened, with the following note attached:


Dear Fakiegrind;

Thank you for lending me this musical gem. I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty to break the seal, thus unleashing the unmitigated force of Justice upon the world, but the ensuing chaos has increased my Endtime Insurance business greatly.

With war, flood and famine mounting, more people than ever are convinced that the apocalypse is upon us, and are willing to buy into my policies in the hopes of securing a seat on one of my Escape Pods. Sure, you still have your fundamentalists, who are convinced that Jesus will carry them away to a better world after reducing this one to ash. But there are others, less certain about their eschatological standing, who would just as soon not risk it, and are hoping to leave planet Earth by other means--means that I claim to supply in the form of my pan-galactic Space Ark.

But I have said too much already. I hope you enjoy listening to the tape. Metallica's classical training really shines through on this one. I was particularly moved by the plight of the invalid war veteran in the song One.

Yours 'till the end,

The Adjuster



It seems that the Adjuster has outflanked us once again. But we would like to clarify the official Fakiegrind position on all matters otherworldly, in the hopes of staving off the madness that only fuels parasites like the Endtime Adjuster. Do not be fooled by apocalyptic scenarios that offer hopes of another world as an escape from the difficulties of this life!

We have it on good authority that the next world appears much the same as this one, and that what is wrought here is manifest there as well. In the Gospel of Thomas (a collection of sayings that some scholars believe to be akin to the original record of Jesus' words utilized in the construction of the canonical Gospels) Jesus himself says,

The Kingdom of Heaven is spread upon the earth, but men do not see it.

We at Fakiegrind believe that God really does love the world, and doesn't intend to see it destroyed, despite the environmental and political difficulties that seem to be mounting all around. Things may get a little rough, but hang tight. The Kingdom of Love shall be established here, on the sacred soil of Earth, where the Radiance of Eternity will reveal all beings to be holy, according to the particular genius of each.

4 comments:

flatlander said...

When I say "we at Fakiegrind", I really mean "I at Fakiegrind", because there's just no telling what the other Agents believe on these matters. That's what makes them secret agents.

mgc said...

i am not much of an agent, but am on your side senior flatlander!

Q said...

There are agents and then there are Agents. Some Fakiegrinders operate under deep cover. We call them "seasoning agents".

flatlander said...

Whether from seasoned agents, casual observers, long-time commentators, or anonymous stall-scribblers, we value all non-spam comments here at Fakiegrind, and thank all faithful readers for their attenuated attention.