Friday, November 17, 2006

Cosmic Cow

Last night I had a very strange dream. I was traveling a turbulent, otherworldly landscape when a large, friendly cow materialized out of the ether.

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"I am the Cosmic Cow," said the creature.


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"I love to graze the quantum wastes of distant galaxies..."

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"and gambol in the cosmic rays of far-flung fields of time and space."

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"I bathe my udders in lunar light on distant shores of sentient seas."

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"I know what is past, present and to come, as well as the expiry dates of the finest cheeses."

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"Flatlander, you will fashion yourself a mighty vessel in which to travel the perilous wastes of deep space, in search of pieces of vinyl cast adrift many millennia ago by the scientists of long-dead interstellar civilizations."


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"You will encounter the mighty warriors of the Byzna'arian Steppes (who love sheep).

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"You will befriend strange robots who will understand the Codes by which blogs might be made to speak by themselves."

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"You will fight off bizarrely clad denizens of distant worlds, and will develop the ability to grow supple, mechanical pseudopodia from your shoulder blades."

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"Returning to your home planet with the priceless intergalactic disks, you will be called a prophet..."

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"...only to discover that your base of operations has been destroyed in your absence (yet again)."

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"But you will rebuild your empire, and, with the knowledge gained from your travels, will be a great benefit to the producers of recreational lawn dart equipment on three continents."

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"So speaketh the cow. Now AWAKE!"

...And that was the end of my dream. That strange cow made quite an impression on me, but what was all that crazy nonsense about a space ship and sentient robots? People say that dreams foretell the future using a kind of symbolic picture language, but I have no idea what any of this could mean.

6 comments:

jin said...

I think it means the "bad guys" are trying to reprogram your brain to eat burgers & drink milk by promising you a 'cosmic' experience!

BEWARE, tread lightly!
;-)

Anonymous said...


Dude that Cow is so milkin' it.

And the robot looks like Gyrobo's dad!

Hey JIN! I'm right below you! Hahaha...BRADY BUNCH!

jin said...

Hippo said "Dude that Cow is so milkin' it."

Dude, that was udderly tasteless.
*stifled giggle*

OH! I wanna be Marcia! She was the prettiest! Except when she got hit with the ball in the face! :O)

Gyrobo said...

Don't have a "cow," man.

"Cow"-abunga.

You'll be posting 'til the "cows" come home.

Only a "cow"-ard would fear the samurai spacemen.

"Bear" with me... wait, strike that one.

flatlander said...

Hey, did anyone ever see the Battlestar Galactica/Brady Bunch crossover episode--the one where the Galacticans finally land on Earth and are taken in by the Brady family, who find their guests somewhat strange but amusing?
The Galacticans attempt to repay the Bradys for their hospitality by helping the kids with their homework, but their gesture backfires when the FBI show up because sensitive information regarding a secret airforce base appears in one of the kid's geography assignments.

Or did I just dream that episode?

Andrew said...

I don't know if it was real, but I lived that episode, flatlander! Lived it!!!!