Monday, April 10, 2006

The Quest for WOT

The Fakiegrind Extra-Terrestrial Linguistics Analysis Team has been working around the clock for the past two days, trying to decipher the three letter communication adorning the screen of the television-shaped mother ship seen landing somewhere on the shores of Baffin Island over the week-end.

The team came up with several well-considered interpretations for the word/symbol/random inscription/call-it-what-you-will, leaving us no other choice but to fire them, following Occam's Law of inverse Scrutiny, which states that any explanation arrived at by a team of highly trained professionals couldn't possibly be the correct one.

To continue investigating the enigma, we have hired the renown earthquake researcher, Styles Rubbermop, to develop the world's very first earthquake-proof coffee mug, reasoning that, without peace of mind regarding our ability to imbibe caffeinated beverages during periods of seismic instability, we could never undertake the delicate task of translating alien communications into comprehensible earth meanings.

Dr. Rubbermop has already produced a working prototype mug, from which I am sipping this very moment, when we are just about to flip on the Roboshrub Inc. Random Earthquake Generator we bought through eBay last week. Once the dust settles, if the joe is still hot in the mug, we'll take another stab at the meaning of WOT.

Proposal for construction of the extra-large cup, spring 2008.

There is still no word from Dept. H's Captain Canuck and Nelvana, who left for Baffin Island several days ago to investigate the alleged UFO landing.


Bathroom Hippo said...

Rubbermop is a fraud.

I caught that guy pouring water all over the mop aisle in Walmart.

flatlander said...

Like all geniuses, Dr. Rubbermop has his eccentricities. He also does a great dail-tone impersonation--the life of the party!

Gyrobo said...

Rubbermop worked on the Random Earthquake Generator, which is similar to the Random Slogan Generator. They both are random generators. None can dispute that logic... and live to tell the tale!

Especially not the specialty store owners. Them and their "movie stubs."

Bathroom Hippo said...

Google Earth controls the world's construction plans.