Fakie intelligence has confirmed that the arch-hypnotist and time traveller, Xister could be here in Steeltown. It seems he is plotting to undermine this very blog, and Canadian national security in general. Trust him to strike now, in the brief spell between governments, at the moment when the army wouldn't know which leader to take orders from.
In the midst of this chaos, I've made a pledge to track down and unmask this threat to human sentience and linear chronology. We will not rest until the crisis has been averted, and the dangerous rogue time-traveller is safely in a temporal holding cell.
National Correctional Facility for Super-Villains and Rouge Bloggers
In a bizarre and ironic twist of fate, it seems that the Xister is actually under a hypnotic spell himself--one placed on him by his former student-turned-consort, the mysterious Spirella.
If our intelligence is correct, the Xister actually believes himself to be in the year 45780, where he is attempting to construct a time machine out of plankton and kelp. Given the scarcity of these substances here, on the shores of Lake Ontario, it shouldn't be too hard to track down our foe. At the same time, he seems to be deranged, so "plankton and kelp" could mean anything.