Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Caveat Emptor

Example
I picked this album up a little late for Hallowe'en, but was enthralled by the playlist, which includes:

Curse of the Zombies
Victims of the Guillotine
Be Buried Alive
Terror From Outer Space
Nightmare of Lost Souls
Attack of the Incredible Crab
Death Struggle of the Prehistoric Monsters
Count Dracula and the Vampires of Death

In short, all the essentials!

Example

The back reads, in part:

CAN YOU STAND THE SHOCK OF HEARING THE EXORCIST BATTLING SATAN? WILL THE BURNING OF THE WITCHES AT THE STAKE UNHINGE YOUR MIND?

LISTEN IF YOU DARE!

GASP AND SCREAM AS THE VICTIMS PLEAD IN VAIN FOR MERCY, OR QUICK DEATH. IF YOU HEART IS TOO WEAK FOR THIS JOURNEY INTO TERROR, DO NOT PLAY THIS RECORD. YOUR NERVES WILL JAR TO THE GROTESQUE INHUMANITY OF MAN TO MAN WITHIN. THE SCREAMS YOU HEAR MAY BE YOUR OWN AFTER THIS DIABOLICAL DETOUR INTO......(MADNESS)

How could I resist? Of course, when I got home I found that the record inside the sleeve was something else entirely: sappy love songs and such (perhaps even more spine-chilling than the original record). Still, for fifty cents, I got a pretty cool sleeve to hang in the dungeon.

5 comments:

flatlander said...

Ok, the part about witches being burned goes a little too far on this record jacket.

Of course, it was produced in 1974, when the backlash against the feminist movement was, I think, more pronounced than it is today; so the author of this sleeve might have been sub-consciously channeling certain masculine resentments of his times.

Please note that Fakiegrind LOVES witches, and in no way wishes to see them harmed. In fact, if they weren't already married to Satan, I would ask any single, available, pagans to drop us a line.

Adjuster said...

Your immortal soul will BURN for that last comment, Flatlander.

flatlander said...

Do you mean "burn" in a good way, as in burning with Blake's "flames of genius" (which to the angels looks like torment and insanity); or "burn" in a bad way, as in "you will experience heartburn for the rest of eternity"?

Adjuster said...

The latter.

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