Casual readers of Fakiegrind might take a look at the blog on any given day and get the idea that I'm some sort of blasphemous heathen, apocalyptic, pagan, Zen, Christian, nary-do-well, skateboarding, homeless drifter. And they would be right. I believe in all sorts of various and sundried, tomatoee things. What I don't believe in, though, is waiting around for some endtime rapture festival of the self-righteous; that's the Endtime Adjuster's territory. And we only put up with him because, like Golem in the Lord of the Rings, he might yet have a part to play in the unfolding salvation of this wayward blog project.
Life is full of apocalypses and revelations; each new day is a miracle of opportunity for growth and change, even if it just seems like the same old thing. In Buddhism it's called "working on your karmic roots"--those intangible strands of fate and experience that we generate for ourselves from the unconscious regions of our personality. When enlightenment suddenly comes, it's only because an individual has laboured long and hard, often for very little immediate return.
I don't believe that any life is ever wasted, no matter how aimless, lost or tragic it might appear. I don't believe in sitting around, waiting for some miracle of transformation, but I do believe that we are all moving towards a marvelous destiny. And when we finally make it to that mountaintop, and look out see where we have been traveling all this time, we might realize that the City of God has been our dwelling place all along.
I'm only saying this because I feel like I've made, and continue to make, all kinds of mistakes. But yesterday I was standing there, cutting wood for skids when I realized that all of my "mistakes" were anticipated, pre-planned for, if you will, by whatever that inscrutable, deeper, wiser power called God might be. Yes, I screw up allot, but God sees it coming from miles away (it would be hard for the architect of human nature to be surprised by anything we do), and God is steering me home, even if it takes innumerable lifetimes.