Saturday, May 07, 2005

Who the Heck is Natas K? -Third and Final Part

Galloping good luck! It appears as though Natas himself has been following the blogspot we have been doing about the great contribution he has made to skateboarding, so he has actually contacted us for an exclusive Fakiegrind interview! We talked to someone claiming to be Natas over the phone, where he was calling from the Curbside Meadows Retirement Villa for Pro Skaters. It seems that he and Mark G. had just finished a ripping session on the facility's mini ramp, and Natas was just getting out of his body harness.

FKG: So they have body a harness for the mini ramp at the Skater's Retirement Villa?
Natas: Yeah. Keeps you from hitting the flat, and the bungee effect lets you blast huge airs!
FKG: Cool. Look. I just have to ask. Are you aware that your name spelled backwards is sataN?
Natas: You know, in all my years I never once noticed that.
FKG: Does that mean that you are, like, the anti-devil?
Natas: Maybe I'm more like the auntie of the devil. (laughs)
FKG: Well it's cool that you don't mind us making fun of your name like that.
Natas: Hey, you know what they say: puns are the lowest form of comedy.
FKG: We're actually trying to develop something lower here at Fakiegrind --a form of comedy based entirely on violent body movements.
Natas: I think that's already been invented. It's called "Slapstick".
FKG: Crap man. It's really hard to be funny these days. Seems like everything's been done.
Natas: How about fake blog-zine interviews with legendary skateboarders? You could call it "Blog-umentary".
FKG: Hmmm...Living or dead skateboarders?
Natas: Either.
FKG: What if we piss somebody off and they sue our ass?
Natas: Naw. It's all public domain. You know, like that Powell & Peralta video.
FKG: I don't know, man. Sounds kind of lame.
Natas: It was just a suggestion.
FKG: Thanks.
Natas: No probs. Listen, are you going to ask me any questions about skateboarding? Cause if not, there are a couple of hot chicks out on the sun deck and it looks like Mark G. is getting all the action.
FKG: Sure. Uh...Tell us about the first handrail grind.
Natas: It was Mark and I skating this set of stairs, and we were just goofing around and Mark said, "Hey, why not try to grind the sucker!" I said "No way!", but he said "Come on, try it!"--so he held my board in place on top of the rail, and I took a run at the thing, jumped on and grinded it!
FKG: Did you make it on the first try?
Natas: Maybe second.
FKG: So was that the first handrail grind to get photographed and put in a magazine?
Natas: Eventually I managed to ollie into it. Mark and I were both trying it, but I got the photo.
FKG: So I guess that makes you kinda like the Neil Armstrong of handrail grinds, and Mark G. is like either one of the other two guys who also walked on the moon, but nobody remembers who they are.
Natas: Yeah, except lots of people know who Mark G. is anyway.
FKG: Yeah, because he's such a crazy mutant and he does all that art stuff.
Natas: Hey man, I do art too!
FKG: Oh, of course you do. We weren't saying that you don't.
Natas: Ok listen, I gotta go. Those girls are HOT!
FKG: Ok Natas. Thanks a lot for calling. You know that you are our Number One skate hero here at Fakiegrind and we really appreciate your taking the time to speak with us.
Natas: All right then dude. Stay old!
FKG: Ya man. You too. Peace.
Natas: Peace out.

Natas Kaupas, Airwalk, 1988

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