Saturday, March 15, 2008


Egads! I should have never messed with The Template. The Template was fine just the way it was. Now, all the radical Fakiegrind upgrades, the extended Fakie links list, the mind warping customized banner and the ever witty Fakie header archive has been lost to the digital wastes.

I remember why I did it. I did it because the dumb "Rubbish Heap Two" video clip that I found on Tom Green's site didn't fit properly in the old Fakiegrind star-in-the-left-hand-corner template -- that tried and true template that has served Fakie Corp. so well these past three years or so. Did I take the time to read the fine print that says "All modifications to your old template will be lost", before I clicked "OK"? Did I stop to think what reprecussions my actions might have, due to the so-called "butterfly effect" and other chaotic models of creation, on the migratory patterns of Siberian werewolves? It pains me to admit that I did not.

No, I just couldn't leave well enough alone. I had to go a-messin with what weren't broke. Perhaps this is the beginning of the Great Unraveling, as retroactively foretold in an upcoming re-edit of the Book of Oldness Deluxe Edition, complete with Bonus CD featuring never before seen outtakes from deleted and unpublished posts of yesteryear (learn, for instance, where Happy T. Fluke bought his entire necktie wardrobe for 2004 --and much more in this competitively priced collector's item. No comprehensive Fakiegrind ephemera compendium is complete without it!).

So here is the site restored to about 63% of its original splendor. Perhaps we can rebuild it. Perhaps we can cover ourselves in molten chocolate and streak down the street like living fondue morsels. Anything at all is possible with a little time and money. So please send all cheques and monetary donations to:

Fakiegrind Corp. c/o The Internet

I expect the Siberian werewolves to arrive in this sector sometime towards the end of next week (they move fast, those Slavic lycanthropes). We've set out a protective parimeter of fine china and steeped our running shoes in mouthwash, so we should be in good shape. But if you don't hear back from us for another month or so, you can be certain that The Template has extracted its hideous revenge for our ill-conceived meddling.


jin said...

Um... yeah, us Virgo's hate when the videos overlap our templates and I swear our fingers were cursed with clickinitis: the urge to click click click absolutely everything... oh the posts I have lost!

"Perhaps we can cover ourselves in molten chocolate and streak down the street like living fondue morsels."

I would so do that.
I'll even bring the chocolate.
But you have to do it too!!!

flatlander said...

It's a date!

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