Friday, December 22, 2006


'Twas the night before last
and all through Fakie Headquarters
the Agents were feasting on digital leftovers.
Flatlander was guarding the chimney with care
In case Maskatron should suddenly appear
And steal away all of the stockings and gifts
To sell on eBay, or at shops of thrift.
Overseer Q was lighting a stogie
And DJ Thing was playing Thomas Dolby.
The turntables were spinning by the fireside
Where Christmas carols and oldschool rappers collide.
And Captain Canuck was mending his cape
While his old flame Nelvanna peeled him a grape.
Rocksteady was working on guitar chords
And Em was browsing the comic book hoard.
The Vaults of Oldness were full of weird stuff
From Christmas past, all gathering dust.
But Kil Joy was nowhere to be seen
Until he arrived in Dr. Flavour's time machine.
The tofu was roasting in the old gas stove.
(Happy T. Fluke was hiding in a mango grove)
When out of the window all saw a strange sight.
The sky was filled with a flickering light.
And a spherical vessel was hovering there
Which seemed to appear right out of the air!
It lit up the yard with a powerful beam
Where the grass and the deck chairs started to gleam.
And an object was lowered of strange design.
It was a Christmas present from Nebula 9!
We brought it inside, that bizarre invention.
It shimmered and pulsed with extra dimensions.
But the instruction book was written in code
Or the language of some pan-galactic abode.
So we could only guess at its possible uses
Until someone suggested we try to make juices.
So we loaded it up with various fruit:
Some apples and pears and cassava root
And flipped what looked like the master switch
Then the whole house shaked at a fevered pitch.
And the air was filled with a beautiful sound
Like industrial jazz coming out of the ground.
We opened the tap and filled our cups
With a frothy liquid to warm our guts.
Sipping which, Dr. Flavour exclaimed with glee,
"Egads! The thing makes bubble tea!"


Michael said...

Merry Christmas friend of the North.

Gyrobo said...

There's no snow on the ground yet,
No Oxygen on the moon.
But up by the arctic circle,
Flatlander's singing
A Christmas tune.

Gyrobo said...

Or a holiday tune; I saw Michael say Christmas, so I ran with it.

Happy holidays.

Michael said...

Gyrobo how do you run? You dont have any legs. Good tune though.

flatlander said...

Ha ha! You guys are singing a Christmas duet!

I have a Holiday Poem in the works, but its still fomenting in the noodle. Or fermenting in the poodle.

Anyhow, you guys are the best, legs or no. And a very happy holidays and a merry Christmas to you both, and Fakiefolk everywhere!

Gyrobo said...

Yo, I've got a spring attached to a suction cup.

Egg-celent poem.

Happy T. Fluke said...

It's actually a coconut grove - what I would do for a crop of mangos! But the shortwave is picking up some interesting Japanese pop music.

Enjoy Christmas, Fakiegrinders (while I divert all your readership over to my own blog). Tomorrow night is the big Buana-Buana ceremony!

Happy T. Fluke said...

...that would be my own glorious blog. Check it!

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha!

I mean.. Ho ho ho!

Merry Christmas Flatlander!

The Taker of Gist said...

Ho, ho, hooey! I invented this holiday! The puritans were right to ban me from their convenience stores. I'm a loose deck of cards.

Anonymous said...

FL - I think your e-mail has been broken for like 6 months now...

Want to join my team blog?

jin said...

AWESOME rendition of"'Twas the night before last"

Deck the halls with DJ tunes
Fla la la la laaaa la lat lander
Plan your future with some runes
Fla la la la laaaa la lat lander
Don ye now your board & grind it
Fla la laaa la laaaa la lat lan-der
Then come back & share your wit
Fla la la la laaa la lat lan-derrrrr

I missed you!!!
Happy New Year!!!

Gyrobo said...


flatlander said...

Egads! Blogger won't let me switch to the Beta version, but it won't let me get back to the Fakiegrind control dashboard either!!

Perhaps it's one of the Xister's plots! But it's preventing me from posting the Happy New Year post. So I'll just have to say it here,

H A P P Y N E W Y E A R E V E R Y B O D Y !

All the best in 2007!

Michael said...


Bathroom Hippo said...

Join my freakin blog already!

Oh..and May you enjoy the New Year!

jin said...

Yes! Yes!
Join Hippo's blog!
Really, only the COOLEST are asked to join.

Hope you had a GREAT New Year's!!!
(Hope you can access your dashboard again!)

flatlander said...

I feel hounoured to be one of the chosen....but I can't join without recovering the password for the Fakiemail account. I just plum forgot it!

Bathroom Hippo said... can have any e-mail to join. You just have to log in with your character....e-mail doesn't matter.

Let us know if interested!