Saturday, September 23, 2006

NU-WOOD

Example

"Oh, hello there Mr. Vandershand. You're so quiet I didn't hear you approach."

"Maybe that's because you were too busy installing that NU-WOOD panneling."

"Drove the last nail in not ten seconds before I noticed you there."

"So you had no problems receiving the shipment, then."

"No Mr. Vandershand; everything went just as you said."

"That's good to hear."

"Well...there was one thing, now that I think about it."

"Yes."

"The fellow who dropped off these sheets, he was kind of...well, he was a strange fellow."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he didn't say much, and when he did, he had a high, squeaky voice. But it wasn't just that. He was dressed kind of strange, like his cloths didn't quite fit him right. And it looked like he had some kind of mask over his face...some kind of transperant plastic mask."

"Did you give him the parcel I left?"

"Yeah, and he just kind of stuck it in his jacket and vanished."

"That's to be expected. How's the NU-WOOD paneling?"

"Easy as butter on toast to install. You can hardly see the seams. Nice stuff, and strong."

"It is a product from my homeland, the Lost Continent of Mu."

"Well, I'll be! But then, why's it called "NU" wood?"

"Simple semantics. If we were to have called it "MU-WOOD" it might have been confused with a dairy product."

"Right! I guess that's why you're the business man and I'm the NU-WOOD paneling installer."

"I guess so."

"Well, nice to see you Mr. Vandershand."

"You take care now."

"Will do."

4 comments:

jin said...

Hmmmm...that Mr. Vandershand
seems shady.....

flatlander said...

Folks from the Continent of Mu have had a hard time since it sank below the Pacific.

Anyways, Fakiegrind doesn't like to bite the hand of the people who back us. Just as long as the advertising dollars keep rolling in, we'll promote NU-WOOD or any other unusual product that comes along.

Michael said...

Nu-Wood is not to be mistaken with morning-wood.

Bathroom Hippo said...


Wow. That kind of leaves it open for speculation.

Vandershand...where have I heard that name before?.... oh right! He's the character that destroyed the antidote to the poison you just drank!

Muhahaha.