What a lovely night for blogging. Snow is falling, accumulating on the sidewalk where I will eventually have to shovel. The north end is lit up with Christmas lights that bounce off the low cloud covering to create, along with the other urban reflections of luminescence, a rosy hue over the newly carpeted streets.
Tonight I would finally like to set the record straight about the meaning of life, the universe and everything. Here we are, born into a world we don't comprehend--we live a little while, then leave again scarcely any more enlightened as to the nature of things. How are we supposed to know the best way to spend the time between our birth and death when everything around us is so uncertain and subject to change? Even our bodies are unpredictable, likely to give out on us at any moment. So what's it all for? Well, if you have to ask then you are already on your way to certain ruin and desolation.
It's better, by far, to careen through life unreflectively, grabbing what pleasure and delight you can along the way, and stopping infrequently, if ever, to wonder about any of it. However, if fate, chance or bad genes should lead you to ask questions--questions that might make friends and family uncomfortable, bored or worse, then you had better read the rest of this post very carefully.
Yes, I have all the answers, and I'm more than willing to share, now that the internet has provided the ideal medium with which to broadcast my enlightenment to the world. I found the answer through a prolonged study of the classic mystical and religious texts of the ages: Aldous Huxley, Michael Moorcock, MAD Magazine and the X-Men. After more than a decade of seclusion, meditation, instruction and reflection, I came to a conclusion that is sure to set my fellow human beings straight, no matter how far they might have strayed from the path.
The truth, you see, is that the world is actually one, big......
Wait a minute. I think someone's at the door. Hold that thought. Looks like some Christmas carolers or something. I'll just see what they want......Aaaaaaagh! (sound of door slamming shut) Those aren't carolers--it's the Xister and his minions! They have ignored the terms of our truce and are launching an all-out assault on Fakie Central Command! We are betrayed. They have some kind of laser-cutter. I don't know how long the security doors will hold out. ALERT! ALERT! Calling all Agents! The Great Endtime Smorgasbord is upon us! Rally to protect the Motherblog! Where is my cat! Here kitty, kitty, kitty. Ah, the cat is always a comfort in troubling times. But what's going on? The cat is changing! That's not Tigerman......it's....Oh my God! Noooooooooo!