'Twas the night before last
and all through Fakie Headquarters
the Agents were feasting on digital leftovers.
Flatlander was guarding the chimney with care
In case Maskatron should suddenly appear
And steal away all of the stockings and gifts
To sell on eBay, or at shops of thrift.
Overseer Q was lighting a stogie
And DJ Thing was playing Thomas Dolby.
The turntables were spinning by the fireside
Where Christmas carols and oldschool rappers collide.
And Captain Canuck was mending his cape
While his old flame Nelvanna peeled him a grape.
Rocksteady was working on guitar chords
And Em was browsing the comic book hoard.
The Vaults of Oldness were full of weird stuff
From Christmas past, all gathering dust.
But Kil Joy was nowhere to be seen
Until he arrived in Dr. Flavour's time machine.
The tofu was roasting in the old gas stove.
(Happy T. Fluke was hiding in a mango grove)
When out of the window all saw a strange sight.
The sky was filled with a flickering light.
And a spherical vessel was hovering there
Which seemed to appear right out of the air!
It lit up the yard with a powerful beam
Where the grass and the deck chairs started to gleam.
And an object was lowered of strange design.
It was a Christmas present from Nebula 9!
We brought it inside, that bizarre invention.
It shimmered and pulsed with extra dimensions.
But the instruction book was written in code
Or the language of some pan-galactic abode.
So we could only guess at its possible uses
Until someone suggested we try to make juices.
So we loaded it up with various fruit:
Some apples and pears and cassava root
And flipped what looked like the master switch
Then the whole house shaked at a fevered pitch.
And the air was filled with a beautiful sound
Like industrial jazz coming out of the ground.
We opened the tap and filled our cups
With a frothy liquid to warm our guts.
Sipping which, Dr. Flavour exclaimed with glee,
"Egads! The thing makes bubble tea!"