Friday, December 08, 2006

A Note from Overseer Q

It seems as though a little prank devised by some of the guys at R & D, a ploy which I reluctantly agreed to play along with due to some outstanding poker debts which my colleagues agreed to wave, has gone a bit too far. Over the week-end I participated in an eloabourate ruse to make Flatlander believe himself to be the robot assassin, master of disguise and arch-Fakiegrind nemesis Maskatron.

The plan worked a little too well. I honestly had no idea of the precarious state of Flatlander's feverish imagination, compounded as it was by several weeks of overwork cataloguing the various mutant fruit and vegetable species currently flourishing in the Fakiegrind greenhouses.

My bad. The tragic result of all this is that for several days now, Flatlander has been believing himself to be Maskatron. He actually attempted to hit the "delete blog" button on the bottom of the settings page so many times that we had to forcibly restrain him, rigging up a special interface that would allow him to continue blogging without gaining access to the options normally available to a site administrator.

Flatlander's overwhelmed mind has devised an outlandish explanation for all this, and Dr. Flavour's expert opinion is that we should humour him as much as possible so as not to worsen his already degenerate state. We've also installed cable in the HQ, in the hope of distracting Flatlander and giving his brain a much needed rest.

So, the best thing for any concerned readers to do is not to encourage Flatlander's blog destruction fantasies, but rather attempt to sooth and calm him with the usual sporadic commentary and inane banter that appears on the Fakiegrind comment pages. Also, concerned individuals can send donations in the form of money or oldschool rap LPs to Dept. H's Save Flatlander Fund c/o The Internet.


Anonymous said...

I'll donate to the Save Flatlander fund. Is it a tax write-off?

Jin should make a flatlander cake!

flatlander said...

Thank you, kind Hippo, for your concern. However, I'm afraid your noble nature has been decieved by underhanded pleas to popular sentimentalism by the knavish lackeys of the soon-to-be defunct blog Fakiegrind.

I assure you that I am quite well, and entirely in harmony--perhaps for the first time in my life--with my own true nature. All this time, I have been hiding from myself, keeping my true supra-human, robotic idetntity hidden like a latent treasure beneath the thin vineer of my alleged humanity.

No, I am not mad. For the first time in my life I can see clearly what must be done. Death! Death to Fakiegrind!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jin said...


Lullaby & goodnight
have sweet dreams
there is no plight
cease your screams
in cable delight!

Relax & renew
rest your mind
we want you
to still be kind
and never blue.

jin said...

re: hippo

@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @

flatlander said...

Hey, that's a tasty looking cake!

Gotta keep Overseer Q from eating all the ampersands...