Thursday, June 22, 2006

Intruder Alert

Example

We caught this man/creature trying to navigate the electrified fence I recently erected around the Fakiegrind World Headquarters. He actually made it over, only to be caught in the poisonous barbs of the Carnivorous Astroturf surrounding my offices. The fellow seems to have been some kind of messenger or shaman. As the neurotoxins swiftly overtook him, he struggled to deliver a puzzling message that sounded something like

Beeeewarrr!

Then the poor fellow expired. There were some dissenting voices in the Headquarters Maintenance Committee when I started to implement our new safety measures here at Fakiegrind Central (all of these mavericks have been since "relocated" to various out of the way locals on Top Secret mission duty). Turns out the electrified fence, carnivorous grass and employee retinal scanners were warranted after all. For all we know, this guy could have been some kind of assassin, bent on destroying the Fakiegrind Empire. No, you can never be too careful with Blogland Security.

But what could be the meaning of the word he uttered with his dying breath? Perhaps he was saying "bee war", trying to intimidate us into silence by summoning the old bugaboo of an army of trained killer bees who will descend upon us in the night and do away with us in our sleep. Nothing to fear there, as I have recently taken the liberty of installing an anti-killer bee deflector shield that will be activated at the first indication of an insect invasion.

So smoke on that, scantily-clad shaman assassin guy--and next time, wear some shoes or something!

9 comments:

jin said...

So,
does that mean
if someone at Fakiegrind
tries to put honey in their tea
they will activate the:
"anti-killer bee deflector shield"
???

mizfit said...

i was just wondering that since the intruder has expired and stuff, may i have that adorable hat he's wearing?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps this person was celebrating the longest day of the year and just got carried away!

Tiffanie said...

:)

jin said...

WENDIGO
!!!

Andrew said...

Two for Wendigo.

Anonymous said...

PAY FPHT KLUE SI ASK TRAN MO!

Happy T. Fluke said...

What is this nonsense?

Release The Hounds!

Gyrobo said...

The Wendigoes are after me pic-i-nic basket! Ka-kaw! He-haw! Slide.