We intercepted this distress signal on the interstellar crystal set:
"PLEASE HELP. TRAPPED IN OLDSCHOOL VIDEO GAME. TELEPORTER BROKEN. TWO-NOTE SYNTHESIZER MUSIC IS DRIVING US NUTS!!!"
Looks like some sucker DJs got a little too deep into the vintage video games for their own good. That'll teach them to rummage around in the Vaults without clearance! This post is way too abstract and over my head. Time to polish the photocopier screens.
Happy T. Fluke, signing out!