Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Calling All Agents!

Example

We just received this transmission from Dept. H's urban re-con vehicle, Mobile One!

Example

Steve Austen has managed to infiltrate the suburban lair of Fakiegrind usurper Happy T. Fluke. Due to Austen's amazing bionically enhanced senses and super-human strength, he was able to circumnavigate the electrified fence and the carnivorous Astroturf™ unscathed.

A piece of Gatorade chewing gum staved off Steve's thirst long enough to allow him to resist drinking from the Moat of Forgetfulness, and the bionic superstar made short work of the hapless sentries, penetrating to the very heart of Fluke's compound to the arch-tyrant's pleasure dome/meditation chamber.

The infiltration took an unexpected turn, however, when it was not the aging photocopier salesman-turned blog magnate, Happy T. Fluke, but rather his ninja bodyguard whom Steve encountered in the inner sanctum.

Mobile one managed to divert these stills from security camera
feed of the ensuing duel:

Example
"Well, ninja, it looks like I'll have to neutralize you before
getting a crack at your employer!"

Example
"You seem to have lost your arms in some kind of meditation
chamber door accident, but you pack a mean kick!"

Example
"Luckily, I know bionic Tai Chi!"

(Cue bionic sound-effects)

Example
"Hey, you look eerily familiar. Could it be?"

(Cue melting synthetic skin effect)

Example
"Maskatron!"

Example
"I thought I saw the last of you back in Episode 34!"

Example
"But if you're Maskatron, then who's Happy T. Fluke?!"

Example
"Could it be there are two Maskatrons?!"

Example
"Bwa ha ha! Wouldn't you like to know, Steve Austen?!
Insectavoid minion, ready my escape craft!"

Example
"BY YOUR COMMAND!"

Example
"He who blogs and runs away...."

Example
"Lives to blog another day!"

Example

Steve Austen shields himself from the glare as Happy T. Fluke's craft disappears down a time tunnel. Was he man, machine, or a little bit of both?--we may never know. Then again, we might only have to wait for the upcoming memoir: "Happy T. Fluke, Master of the Blogstream" which the author will be available to sign at a major bookstore near you sometime in late August 06.

Till then, Stay Old!

7 comments:

jin said...

*Insert the sound of 2 non-bionic hands clapping enthusiastically*

Brilliant!
Absolutely Brilliant!!

*jin bows to fakiegrind, its writing & its photographs*

:-D

Andrew said...

What a frikkin stylin escape craft, and ovion assistance to boot! A captivating account of Fakiegrind history! OI! I'm drunk!

em said...

I want an HTF action figure!

That was rad dude,
you were "gleaming the cube"
Don't be a "Val jerk"
Make up a shirt!

Overseer Q said...

I'm just greatful to Steve Austen for securing Fakiegrind World Headquarters, regaining the Access Codes, and making Blogland safe for Fakiegrinders once again!

If anyone deserves a shirt, it is he.

Bathroom Hippo said...


TWO MASKATRON'S?

GOOD GOD. WE'VE GOT TO NOTIFY CAPTAIN CANUCK and possibly his busier friend..CAPTAIN AMERICA!

Captain Canuck said...

Two Maskatrons! Ok, I'm on it. Right after I orginize my sock drawer and clean out the Dept. H tool shed.

...and maybe take a quick nap.

Gyrobo said...

Only Maskatron would hire a ninja bodyguard stunt double. I saw it coming two miles away on a foggy road behind a tree shaped like a post office. In the dead of winter. At night.

Also, it was a shocking experience.